Demi Moore Spent a Wild Night on the Town Prior to Treatment

Exhaustion, seemingly a common affliction but also one for which only ultra-wealthy celebrities are ever treated, has overcome Demi Moore. Whether it was the rigors of trying to keep the interest of younger ex-husband Ashton Kutcher, who is 33-years-old, or something else entirely is up in the air. What is clear, however, is that before she went into treatment for “exhaustion,” she was partying it up with her young daughter, Rumer Willis. Maybe trying to keep up with the 23-year-old is what did her in.

The 49-year-old actress went out on January 11 wearing a short black skirt and a striped sweater. Arriving at Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel at about 11 P.M., she was at first rather reserved, but began to heat up as the night wore on. Said one person who was at the scene that evening, “When she first arrived, she kept to herself, but she started loosening up and getting into party mode. She seemed really happy to be out with her daughter’s friends.”

It didn’t appear that Moore was drinking that evening, but did seem to be enjoying the attentions of young men, especially 90210 actor Ryan Rottman. Said the same source, “She found ways to touch him all night, and at one point when he was in front of her, she was grinding on his butt. His shirt came unbuttoned, and she started tickling his bare chest playfully.” That does, indeed, sound incredibly exhausting, so perhaps that part of the mystery is solved.


Buzzle: Entertainment & Media

Newt Gingrich Wants Freddie Mac Records Released for Florida

Heading into the Florida primary, where he hopes to continue the success he found in South Carolina, Newt Gingrich wants his consulting contract with mortgage company Freddie Mac to be released prior to the January 31 vote. “I think it would be very helpful and our attorneys are talking with the company. You know I left the company so, it’s their decision and Nancy Desmond, the president of the company, has to make the decision. But I’d be very comfortable releasing them,” he said.

Fellow primary candidate Mitt Romney has ratcheted up attacks on Gingrich in the past several days, openly questioning what, exactly, he did for Freddie Mac. With the mortgage meltdown being a major part of the economic turmoil in the U.S., and with Freddie Mac having a less than stellar – some would say fraud-filled – role in that mess, it is a fair question. Apparently, however, Gingrich is more than happy to have his role with the company come to light.

Noted Romney, speaking of Gingrich, “Over the last, what, 15 years, since he left the House, he talks about great bold movements and ideas. Well, what’s he been doing for 15 years? He has been working as a lobbyist. He was working as a lobbyist and selling influence around Washington. He was working for Freddie Mac – heard of those guys? He says that he’s just been a historian, I would like him to release his records, what was his work product?” Gingrich countered that he was never a lobbyist, and called on Romney, in turn, to release records of his own business dealings.


Buzzle: National & World News

Cannibalism in Animals

‘Cannibalism’ is defined as the act of any animal consuming members of its own type or kind, including the consumption of mates. The definition is good enough to make one feel squeamish. Though rampant in many animal species, it is the intrigue of cannibalism that arouses a lot of curiosity among us. This article sheds some light on the mystery that is ‘cannibalism’.

Cannibalistic Animal Behavior
When we talk about something that defies the limits of decadence, humans are bound to come into the picture. The word ‘cannibalism’ finds its origins in Spanish. The Carib people, a West Indian tribe once infamous for their practice of cannibalism, were called Canbales by the Spaniards, thus establishing a human connect. Thankfully, sanity prevailed and cannibalism is now considered as a criminal activity, barring a few South Pacific islands.

Animals, on the other hand, have a completely different perspective towards cannibalism. We often think of food shortage as the main reason behind it, but we couldn’t be more wrong. Several species indulging in cannibalism do it with a specific purpose in mind. For instance, felines do it to garner female attention, whereas golden eagles do it for reasons of personal survival. All reasons apart, there are about 1500 species indulging in some type of cannibalism.

Praying Mantis Redback Spider Great White Shark African Lion Polar Bear
Praying Mantis Redback Spider Great White Shark African Lion Polar Bear

Survival Cannibalism
From the moment they are born in the wild, the animals begin their struggle for survival. They start by eliminating their siblings, thus ensuring themselves of an extra helping of food. Cannibalism is also used to display dominance over other species at times.

Often, human interference is also seen as a possible cause of disturbance in the ecological balance. As we encroach on to their habitat, animals in the wild find it tougher to search for food, sometimes forcing them to indulge in cannibalism.

♦ The great white sharks are an example of creatures indulging in cannibalism to establish dominance. Often, peculiar bite marks are observed on smaller white sharks that are found dead, indicating the involvement of bigger sharks.

♦ The golden eagle usually lays two eggs that hatch a few days apart. The one that hatches first turns out to be the stronger one, grabbing on to most of the feed that comes their way. In cases of extreme food shortage, the stronger chick does not hesitate in making a meal out of its weaker sibling.

Spotted hyena cubs are an antithesis of cute, furry creatures, even though their appearance may lead you to believe otherwise. Born ferocious, they start practicing their hunting skills on their brothers and sisters. The timid ones are mostly mauled to death, even as the adults try to separate them. This prepares the young ones to develop leadership qualities, and keeps the population in check as well.

Polar bears have been observed to possess cannibalistic tendencies, but of late, it has been forced upon them, all thanks to the climate change. The melting of the sea ice leaves them helpless on islands for a prolonged time period, with zero access to food. In desperation, they turn to consuming their offspring in order to aid survival.

Sexual Cannibalism
Zoology defines sexual cannibalism as the consumption of a mate before, during or after copulation. It is girl power all the way, as it is the female who is responsible for it most of the time. Scientists have come up with varied explanations (some conflicting ones as well) to justify the existence of sexual cannibalism. It occurs rarely when compared to survival cannibalism, and is mostly found in spiders and scorpions.

♦ Any discussion on sexual cannibalism is incomplete without the mention of the praying mantis. When the female mates on an empty stomach, she happily bites off her mate’s head to kill those hunger pangs. However, this doesn’t happen as often as it is portrayed to be. Praying mantises are also known to indulge in elaborate courtship rituals, with the males taking considerable efforts to woo the lady. In other instances, the males have been observed to be prudent enough to avoid courting a hungry lady.

♦ The black widow spider gets her name because of the very act of sexual cannibalism. Along with the redback spider, these girls are known to take advantage of their superior size and turn their mate into dinner. But here comes an interesting twist. Unlike the praying mantis, these male spiders readily sacrifice their lives to gain an advantage or two. Males that readily become a meal end up fertilizing more eggs. Also, having consumed a male, the female is known to reject future alliances. Talk about being turned off!

Filial Cannibalism
Filial cannibalism is when the parents consume their young ones, or when the adults eat up members of their own species. The causes of filial cannibalism remain shrouded in mystery. In filial cannibalism, the offspring can be gobbled up entirely, or in part. The consumption of the entire brood delivers them from parenting duties as they soon get frisky and give birth to a healthier set of progeny. Interestingly, filial cannibalism has quite a few advantages. Species who are party to this act mainly do it with the purpose of quickly gaining nutrients. It is also seen as a way to get rid of unhealthy offspring or to free a female of her parenting duties in order to make her available for mating.

♦ It is commonly observed in teleost fish families, where the eggs are eaten for their nutritive value, and are seen as an immediate source of energy. It is sometimes done to declutter an unmanageable brood.

♦ The female praying mantis is a seasoned cannibal, known to feast on her mate, post copulation. Mommy dearest also doesn’t hesitate to chomp on her eggs, more so if she has spent a lot of time fasting to protect them. It is hard to find a bigger contradiction in the natural world.

♦ It is a known fact that lions are the most aggressive among all other felines. It is also true that the lion devours cubs to get female attention. The idea behind this is to spread their progeny, and eliminating those belonging to others. Killing the cubs also presents them an opportunity to mate, especially when available partners are hard to find.

Intrauterine Cannibalism
Oophagy or intrauterine cannibalism can be called egg eating in simple words. While the embryo undergoes development, it starts eating the unfertilized eggs, thus nourishing itself. Adelphophagy is slightly different, as this is where the stronger embryo makes a meal of the weaker embryo.

♦ The endangered sand tiger sharks are one of those deceptively calm sharks that are not known to attack humans unnecessarily. To find proof of their aggressiveness, you must go back to their embryonic stage. These sharks eat up their brothers or sisters, having already developed sharp teeth along with a good appetite. This leads to the birth of only two pups, despite the presence of several eggs.

♦ The shortfin mako shark feasts on the eggs as it develops, thanks again to their sharp teeth. Nutrition happens to be the objective here as well.

The slightest mention of cannibalism manages to elicit outraged reactions every single time. However, it is not against the natural scheme of things, in cases where animals are involved, mind you. Whatever the cause, cannibalism among animals is here to stay for a long, long time to come.


Buzzle: Animals & Pets

Rick Perry to Drop Out of Presidential Primary and Endorse Newt Gingrich

With the South Carolina primary set for Saturday and his prospects fading quickly, Rick Perry has decided to step out of the race for the GOP nomination for President in 2012. CNN is reporting that Perry will hold a press conference at 11AM on Thursday in South Carolina to formally announce his decision and to endorse former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

In South Carolina, Gingrich has managed to mount a challenge to Mitt Romney, although Romney still holds a significant lead in the polls. Perry’s donors had recently given indications that they saw the writing on the wall and that the Texas Governor was not going to be in a position to capture the GOP nod.

After strong showings in Iowa and New Hampshire, Romney brought plenty of momentum and a huge war chest into South Carolina. But recent questions about Romney’s business dealings as well as his personal wealth and savvy tax avoidance have drawn the suspicions of wary voters. At a time when many voters are increasingly concerned about the cozy relationship between big business and big government, Romney seems to represent the worst case scenario.

But even with the recent dents to Romney’s image, it seems like his is going to be the only campaign that is going to be able to sustain a strong run throughout the primary season. Romney is the candidate who appeals to those who are holding onto a traditional view of government as primarily benevolent and well-meaning. Newt Gingrich’s supporters fall into the same broad category, but with slightly different values. It will be interesting to see if any of the GOP candidates will generate the broad-based appeal required to topple President Obama in 2012.


Buzzle: National & World News

How to Stop Criticizing Others

Doesn’t it feel great when we lash out at someone for being too silly/ insensitive/ unprofessional/ ignorant/ annoying, etc.? How many times have we criticized others for not matching up to our so-called standards? How many people have gotten on to our nerves because they are not us? Criticizing is easy and it makes us feel good within because we perceive someone to be at a lower level of excellence.

Reeks of unfairness, doesn’t it? Criticizing is oftenly used to release pent-up frustration. It is the person at the receiving end who has to endure the trauma, sometimes undeservingly so. It is sad how we never realize when our unending rants create a permanent distance in the relationship. It is time to pull up your socks and rid yourself of this consumptive habit.

How to Stop Judging and Criticizing People

“That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.” ~ Jonathan Swift
Where does criticism stem from? The primary source of criticism is expectation, in all probability. Don’t we all like people to do things exactly the way we would do them? A slight variation or a move away from the mundane becomes irksome. Whatever happened to being open-minded or accommodating? Yes, there are situations that demand exactitude, but does criticism help bring about a positive change? It would be better, instead, if we try to identify the source of the trouble. You’d be surprised to find how more often than not, it points towards shortcomings within us. Mostly, it is our frustration, jealousy, anger or incompleteness that is the culprit.

“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Criticizing is often a natural human response to variation. Since appreciation of innovation requires a big heart, criticism is used to mask our failure. This can happen, especially with people in positions of authority. Take a moment to think – are we hurting the person with our harsh words? Are we inadvertently fostering resentment and rebellion? If we are, it negates the entire purpose of criticism. A better choice in such a case would be to offer a helping hand, rather than scathing words.

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
So does it mean we sweet-talk a deliberate wrongdoer every time? Definitely not. Constructive criticism can be discerned by a person who is willing to accept his/her mistakes and correct them. If you really wish to reform a person, try telling him/her how to do things right, instead of harping on and on about his/her inadequacy. In the case of repeat offenders, criticism can be the worst tool one can think of using. Their repeated failures are proof of them being either incompetent or just plain impish.

“Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” ~ Elvis Presley
Golden words, these. The fact is that we live a life that is ours. The troubles that come our way are ours. Every individual is blessed with the ability to make his/her decisions. We humans always judge a person for being too hasty or too laid-back, too foolish or over smart with the choices he/she makes in life. It’s easy to say, “I would’ve never done that”, when you’ve never found yourself in that situation in the first place. We need to respect every person’s ability to deal with his/her problems and not think of ourselves to be God and be judgmental of whatever decision others take.

“As a matter of fact, we are none of us above criticism, so let us bear with each other’s faults.” ~ L. Frank Baum
A cup of hot coffee and a cream donut tastes best when we have the company of friends along with some juicy gossip to go with it. Being judgmental about another’s choices in clothing, dating and working is so good, that it gets addictive. But would we really like a world that is full of our clones? Individuality sets us apart from the other members of the animal family. Unfortunately, it is this trait that makes us go yak, yak, yak in retaliation. The next time you think you’ve spotted a blunder, stop the urge to criticize. Instead, thank the stars it’s not you.

“When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.” ~ Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
Sugar-coated criticism may not be easy to dispense, but is always easy to digest. Most people like to know that they are not complete nincompoops, incapable of being trusted with the easiest of tasks. Before rushing on to the wrongs, take a moment to appreciate the effort the person has put in, more than anything else. After all, wouldn’t you like your mistakes to be dealt with, in the same way?

We all understand that criticizing is an inseparable part of human nature. We need to be cautious and sparing in its use. Easier said than done, criticizing cannot be stopped with one swish of a magic wand. It requires a massive amount of effort and tons of patience. Sadly, saintly qualities like these are not usually bestowed upon us mortals; in fact, providence has an annoying way of putting these qualities to test now and then. If we look at it as a chance of being a guide to others, it might help us tone down the criticism by a notch.


Buzzle: Home & Lifestyle

How to Draw a Cartoon Dog

Dogs are one of the most common pets around the world. They are faithful animals who give us company and never fail to bring a smile to our lips with their funny antics. This is the reason they are commonly depicted in cartoons or caricatured. Don’t you feel like drawing your own cartoon dog as a tribute to your pet dog? Or perhaps you are a budding sketch artist and want to try your hand at canine sketches. Whatever be the reason, we shall learn how to draw cartoon dog step-by-step in this Buzzle article.

Cartoon Dog

Steps to Draw a Cartoon Dog

Drawing cartoon dogs is very simple and can be a fun activity when bored. All you need to know is the trick and create your own funny canine friend. The animation given above will give you a quick idea regarding the steps to be covered in our task to draw a cartoon dog. The steps given below is like a puzzle which helps you to draw a cartoon dog in few easy steps where kids can easily draw them by just looking at the illustration.

Before you start drawing a sketch of a cartoon dog, you will need a pencil, paper, an eraser and colored pencils to color the sketch. To begin with, you need to first draw a freehand sketch by following the steps as given below.

Step 1: Body and Head
Let us begin with the head of a dog. Draw two overlapping ovals that will form the head and snout as shown in the figure 1.1. Next, draw two similar-sized adjacent circles to form the body.

Cartoon Dog 1.1

Figure: 1.1

Step 2: Connect the Shapes
You need to give a definable shape to the body and head. First, complete the body by connecting the two big circles with curved lines. Next, connect the head to the body in a similar fashion, as shown in the figure 1.2.

Cartoon Dog 1.2

Figure: 1.2

Step 3: Legs
To draw the legs, make two elongated shapes for front legs and another two slightly behind them for the hind legs. At the end of these elongated shapes for legs, draw four little ovals for the paws. Now, give the front legs a slender shape and the hind legs a slightly broad shape at the top to define the thighs.

Cartoon Dog 1.3

Figure: 1.3

Step 4: Other Detailing
Draw curved shapes for the ears and bushy shaped tail. You can make your ears standing or droopy and tail narrow or slender. Now draw oval-shaped eyes and nose. Add more detailing like the mouth, tongue and hair. Refer figure 1.4.

Cartoon Dog 1.4

Figure: 1.4

Step 5: Final Step
Erase the unwanted lines on the sketch. Fill up other details, like adding patches on the body of your dog or drawing a belt on its neck. Make your dog look more attractive by coloring it with your favorite color shades as shown in figure 1.5 and figure 1.5.1.

Cartoon Dog 1.5

Figure: 1.5

Adding Color to Your Cartoon Dog
You can add any color your want to your picture. Color your dog black and white, brown and yellow, or any other color combination. Have fun by adding beautiful colors to your dog’s coat.

Cartoon Dog 1.5.1

Figure: 1.5.1

Moreover, here is an additional activity for kids. You can use the sketch below, for your kids coloring activity. To get a print of the dog sketch, all you need is to just click on it!

Cartoon Dog 1.5.2

Figure: 1.5.2

Voila! There you are, ready with your cartoon dog. Do not get disappointed if your sketch does not turn out to be the way you hoped. Keep practicing, and follow these sketching tips and tricks, soon you will master the art of how to draw a cartoon dog step-by-step. Have fun creating a caricature of your Rover! Bow, bow…


Buzzle: Arts & Literature

How to Grow Bermuda Grass

Cynodon dactylon, or the well-known Bermuda grass, is a perennial, warm season grass. It was first brought by the Spaniards to America in the 16th century from South East Africa. It is characterized by gray-green blades, flattened stems that are slightly purple and deep roots. The reason Bermuda grass is widely used is that it is not very expensive, grows fast and is not very affected by constant foot traffic. Growing Bermuda grass is easy in sunny places, while its growth is hindered by cold or too much moisture. Well-drained areas with tropical and subtropical climate are ideal for growing Bermuda grass. However, many “cold resistant varieties” (like Rivera, Yukon and Mohawk) have been introduced in the recent times.

Methods of Growing Bermuda Grass

Bermuda grass can be grown using grass or lawn sprigs, plugs, sod or seeds. The hybrid varieties of Bermuda grass cannot be seeded. There are three things that must be done before establishing new Bermuda grass.

  • First, soil test the area in which you wish to grow the Bermuda grass.
  • Second, loosen the soil to about 4 to 6 inches deep.
  • Third, fertilize the soil according to the reports of the soil test.

To successfully establish Bermuda grass using sod, plugs or sprigs, the soil temperature must be above 55ºF for many weeks continuously.

Method 1: When establishing Bermuda grass sod, water the soil before laying sod on the surface. Then place the sod rectangles on top of the loosened and moist soil. Make sure that the ends of the sod rectangles are not in a straight line or in proper rows and columns. Walk on the sod or use a yard roller to lightly press down the sod to make adequate soil contact.

Method 2: Plugs are smaller versions (mostly cut pieces) of sod and can establish them in the same way as sod rectangles. For fast-growing Bermuda grass, place the plugs closer to each other and for long-term (and large area) grass cover, spread the Bermuda grass plugs evenly over the entire area.

Method 3: Bermuda grass sprigs include plant crown, stolons and underground rhizomes. They should be planted 2 inches deep in rows of 35 inches.

Growing Bermuda Grass From Seed

The most inexpensive way of growing Bermuda grass is by seeds. But special attention must be paid to certain factors while growing Bermuda grass from seeds. Some of the most important ones are discussed below.

  1. Temperature: Soil temperature of around 70ºF or more is ideal for planting Bermuda grass seeds. This temperature is found after 80-90 days of constant high temperature during the day. The growth activity of Bermuda grass halts when the temperature is below 60ºF at night.
  2. Time: It is generally recommended to establish Bermuda grass seeds in the beginning of summer (before August ends). Bermuda grass seeds are usually planted two and a half months before the first frost in most of the Northern states and two months before the first freeze in the Southern states.
    (Dormant seeding can be done in the middle of the winter, when the temperature is a steady 60-65ºF. Plant the seeds and leave them to be dormant until the temperature rises above 65ºF in spring. This method is not followed commonly because, there is a high risk of the Bermuda grass seeds rotting, if the low temperature persists for a long time and the soil becomes saturated with moisture.)
  3. Quantity: For every 1000 square feet, use 2-3 pounds of Bermuda grass seeds, 9-10 pounds of raw seeds for every acre in a new establishment and 14-17 pounds of coated Bermuda seeds for each acre in a new pasture establishment.
  4. Depth: Bermuda seeds must be sown at a depth of 1/8″ or less for optimized growth. (Bermuda grass seeds should never be planted more than 1/4″ deep in the soil.) To keep the birds away and promote moisture retention, cover the surface with a mixture of manure compost.
  5. Moisture: In the initial stages of germination, provide (and maintain) adequate surface moisture (not too much or too little) and maintain the soil moisture for the entire germination stage. Regulate deep, but frequent, water supply after the Bermuda grass has been established.

Germination starts within a week of planting and takes almost 20 days from the first sprouting to be complete. Normally, the time required to get full coverage of Bermuda grass is 10 weeks, but it might differ because of other factors (planting season, temperature and moisture).

Tips to Grow Bermuda Grass

  • Bermuda grass grows best at soil pH of 5.5 or above.
  • After loosening the soil, take a gap of two to three weeks, before establishing the Bermuda grass, so that the area is free of any dormant weeds or sprouts of earlier plantings.
  • Level the surface with pulverized soil for about 5 inches before planting seeds.
  • It is best to fertilize the soil in the morning or evening and water the area well after that.
  • Plan the irrigation system (including the sprinkler layout) and lawn borders, before establishing the Bermuda grass.
  • Use a drop spreader to sow the grass seeds when planting common Bermuda.
  • Be sure to maintain enough soil contact between the Bermuda grass sod, plugs, sprigs or seeds and the soil.
  • Many Bermuda sod varieties do not mix well with the seed varieties (especially the common Bermuda varieties).
  • Completely avoid overseeding Bermuda grass with Rye grass in the first winter season.
  • When you are overseeding Bermuda grass with others, make sure that there is adequate soil contact, and use growth regulators if needed.

One of the main disadvantages of establishing Bermuda grass in an area is that it has tendency of ‘killing’ other plants in the surrounding. To avoid this, keep edging it constantly and apply herbicides from time to time. Like any other grass variety, Bermuda grass maintenance has to be done regularly. The other disadvantage of Bermuda grass is that it is difficult to get rid of the Bermuda grass once it has been planted. When you decide to uproot the Bermuda grass, dig out the extensive root system completely and use glyphosate repeatedly for some time. On the bright side, Bermuda lawns are established within a year’s time, sometimes in 60-90 days. Besides, once the grass has grown, it becomes resilient to drought and heat, and covers the area extensively.


Buzzle: Home & Lifestyle

BEHIND the CURTAINS of ‘Expecting to Fly’ with Casey Kringlen

When the audience is still talking about the play as they leave the theater, an actor knows he’s done a good job. For Casey Kringlen, that opportunity comes in the world premiere of Expecting to Fly at The Elephant Space Theater in Hollywood on Jan. 21.

Because this is a world premiere of an original work, Kringlen said it offers an actor a special opportunity to explore the characters in depth and discover new complexities to human relationships.

“Its fun to define the character just enough for the audience to stay engaged and not to answer every question explicitly,” he said. “It’s important for me to be involved in a role that asks questions…and challenges the audience to get engaged in the story in their own mind.”

Written by Michael Hyman, Expecting to Fly is a dark, sometimes humorous, journey through the young minds and memories of Jared (played by Justin Mortelliti) and his former lover, Sean (Kringlen). The two men look back on their time together trying to find what was lost and come to terms with their separation. It’s a play that speaks to all audiences and can mean many different things to people.

“Most gay plays focus on stereotypical issues of being gay, not on a relationship that just happens to include gay characters,” Kringlen said. “The theme of this play has absolutely nothing to do with being homosexual…I play a person not an archetype.”

Dealing with such intensely personal emotions requires a special relationship with a co-star, something Kringlen said was achieved from the first reading and callbacks.

“This is definitely the most inspiring theatrical production I’ve ever worked on, and Justin (Mortelliti) is the most inspiring actor I’ve ever worked with too…it’s like working with my best friend.”

That special on-stage chemistry is something Kringlen said director Kiff Scholl was quick to recognize and stimulate.

“Kiff is so wonderful because he lets us into his process and expects us to participate,” he said. “He’s a great lesson on directing for me.”

The role of Sean has taken Kringlen to new heights as an actor, especially as he discovered hidden abilities and emotions that he has never portrayed on stage before.

“I’m truly going places I’ve never gone before,” he said. “I love it.”

Expecting to Fly has preview performances beginning Jan 21. Opening night is Jan. 28 at 8 p.m. and will play through March 4. For tickets, visit www.plays411/fly or call (323) 960-5772.


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How to Get Over a Break Up and Find the Love You Want?

Do you feel it is very hard to get over a break up and find the love you want? Well, congratulate yourself for making the first attempt to forget the pain and heal. You are one step closer to recovering. Of course, it is difficult to get over a break up and move on. The love, time, and affection that was spent on the relationship seems to be wasted. Do not focus on the negative of the relationship. Be bold and calmly reexamine your own relationship to get over the break up and find the love you want. Blocking out grievances and not facing them only allows the wounds to grow deeper. Do not force yourself too fast by dealing with people when you are not ready yet. Getting over a break up takes time. Thus, in order to forget a past love and find the love you want you must reevaluate the relationship, fairly face problems, and learn from mistakes. In this way, one can truly learn to accept the past and let it become the past and therefore, enable one to move on happily and bravely.

Getting over a break up is difficult. The love, time, affection seem to have been wasted now that the relationship has gone awry. Do not despair because everything happens for a reason. Meeting was due to fate and the break up is also due to fate. You fell in love for a reason so likewise you have split up for a reason. It hurts like hell, and it is very hard to accept this fact. Perhaps, you still have not gotten over him, and you are planning ways to get back together. That is okay only after a clear reevaluation of the relationship. Was a mistake that can be forgiven or something that has really made a big dent in the relationship that should not be mended? Is it worth investing more time and effort to start again? Will you both be happy? With a clear mind you can reevaluate and dig deep into the relationship to see if it is worth another try. Even if you have decided to give it another attempt and have been rejected, you can decide again if it is worth it to wait for your ex to give you yet another chance. If that chance does not come by, you know that it is meant to be. However, by this time perhaps you have gotten used to getting over a break up. This means you can move on and find the love you want. Why not forget your ex and ask yourself instead how to get a new relationship? This is a positive choice that places power in your hands again. You have move past the hurt and can start over again.

It is best to face the problems of getting over a break up without bias. Feel free to lament, cry, yell, and scream to get over it, but afterwards, calmly jot down a good brainstorm of the pros and cons of the problems in the relationship. Listing the problems down will make it easier to see what went wrong and not be overwhelmed with all the details in your head. Afterwards, it is also a good idea to list the pros and cons of the problems and see if you can find resolutions that may work for both of you. Having a clear picture may allow you to propose negotiations with your love one if you still want to get back together. If you have no intent of getting back together it is also good for you to see the problems so that you can avoid making the same mistakes in your future relationships. Therefore, you can break free from the cycle of frustrations, hurt, and pain, and embark on a more fulfilling journey of love rather than heartbreak and hold onto a lost cause.

How to get over a break up? How to get a relationship? Learn from one’s mistakes so that you can avoid hurt and pain. Past relationships should not be something to regret but something to draw from as a means to have a better next relationship. You will learn the techniques of dealing with people. Do not dwell on the negatives in that past relationship, but see what you can learn from the mistakes made in the past event to find the love you want. That way you can learn from your mistakes and avoid the hurt and pain associated with the relationship. Perhaps, that man you fell in love with was a jerk, but what were the qualities that had attracted you in the first place? By digging deeper, you may find that maybe he was not a jerk after-all, but that you both were just not meant to be. Or perhaps, you may find that those qualities that you were attracted to are superficial and they are not enough to provide a lasting, stable relationship and you may want to be more alert when you find that you are attracted to your next partner who has the same traits. Then again, you may realize that those traits were not the essence of the problem, but it is due to impulse that you two fell in love and thus, ended in heartbreak when the storm came. Nevertheless, by calmly and logically making an effort to learn from past mistakes one can move on and better the next relationship that might just be around the corner.

Love stories are complicated and so are dealing with people and often than not people are clouded by emotions rather than logic. How to get over a break up and how to get a relationship? It is good to let your heart be free and enjoy the experience, but after there is hurt and pain, one needs to access the situation with logic. Through logic one can become calm and serene, understand the situation more clearly, and thereupon, gradually not be burden with emotions of hurt and also not feel the pain. This is a good way to get over a break up and find the love you want. Move forward in one’s with life rejuvenated and with a passion. It does not hurt to distract one’s attention with hobbies in the process of reevaluation of the self and the surroundings. Remember there will always be a light at the end of a dark tunnel and for every door that closes a window will open. So please bravely move on with life and find a new love and say goodbye to your past love with thanks for lending you a hand on your quest to your true destiny.

Sources:

Personal Experience


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29 and Debt Free (Including the House!)

I went back and forth as to whether I should even write this article or not. With so many people struggling financially, I did not want to come across as a person that was boasting and bragging about their recent success. You see, just two weeks ago I achieved one of the most important goals I had ever set for myself. I had become debt free. In the end I decided that if my story could help or inspire just a few people that it was worth sharing.

Before I start, it is important for you to know that I have been very blessed. I come from a loving family that has always been financially disciplined. Because of this, my parents were able to pay my tuition to a public university here in Iowa. With their help and me working summer jobs all through high school and college, I was able to officially start off adulthood with a bachelor’s degree in Economics without one cent of student loan debt.

That being said, since 2005, I have paid off in excess of $ 60,000 of debt. A vast majority of that was a fixed rate home mortgage, but more on that later. While I never had a clear plan or a formal monthly budget, I did have an ultimate goal. That goal was to be debt free in a sensible timeframe (5 or 6 years was the number floating in my head). Basically, become debt free through thoughtful spending and living a balanced life. Looking back at the past 6 years, here are what I consider to be my most important money moves for becoming debt free:

- I have lived on my 2005 income for the past 6 years. After college, my first real adult job paid me $ 30,000 per year. Not a huge sum, but enough to afford me nice little luxuries like cable TV, in-home internet and a vacation every year. Fortunately for me, 6 years and 2 jobs later, my income has continued to rise; both in base salary and in annual bonuses. But rather than spend this additional income on things I really don’t need or value; I have continued to live on $ 30,000 per year and used the additional income to pay off debt.

- I have used credit cards responsibly. I am not going to lie; I have had and used credit cards for years, but with one important caveat. I pay off the entire balance every month; whether the balance was $ 200 or $ 2,000. Because of that, I have never paid the credit card companies a single penny in interest payments.

- I quickly learned a want from a need and instant gratification from long term success. A funny thing happens when you set a goal like becoming debt free. You start to think long and hard about most purchases. Take the Iphone for instance. When that first came out, I thought that it was the coolest electronic device ever invented. But rather than rush to the Apple store to buy one, I thought about the ramifications. Would I rather have a $ 400 phone and month after month of voice and data charges or would I rather pay off my mortgage 3 months sooner. For a person with a goal of becoming debt free, it becomes a pretty easy choice.

- I’ve avoided new cars like the plague. When I graduated from college in 2005, the first major purchase I made was a 1997 Ford Explorer. Over 6 year and 100,000 miles later, that Explorer still is the only automobile I have owned over that time span. By not keeping up with my friends and all of their new cars, I have avoiding having to make expensive monthly car loan payments.

- I didn’t buy more house than I could afford. My first house, subsequently the house I am still currently living in, cost me $ 96,000 when I purchased it in 2007. While I was qualified to buy larger and more expensive homes; I didn’t feel comfortable taking on the higher payments or risk. So while others were scrambling to buy as much house as they could afford; I made a 25% down payment on a smaller house that I knew I could afford. Having a reasonable loan amount allowed me to keep my monthly mortgage payment under $ 600. Because of this, I was able to pay down additional principal every month.

So now that I am debt free, let me tell you, it feels amazing. Knowing that you do not own anyone a single dime brings me peace of mind like nothing else. As for the future, I will continue to live a balanced life; with the appropriate mix of spending, saving, investing and giving. The only difference being, I will have a lot more cash to do all four!


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